A Town, Moving on and a Loss

I’ve neglected this space and I feel it. Actually, I’ve been dealing with new health issues, but when you have chronic illness, there’s always something new, at least it seems. It does feel much like when I was being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The stomach issues I’ve experienced doesn’t seem to have an easy identification. Currently, I’ve been taking medication to heal stomach ulcers and they’ve made a decent amount of improvement. Fingers crossed that I can go back to spicy Thai, rich guacamole and vegan ice cream. I’ve also been dealing with a negative head space after seeing a “friend” for who she really is. I think as you get older, your tolerance level for some things just gets depleted. I think more of myself than to be friends with someone who has mastered the art of abuse. I’ll leave it at that.

Recently I went back to my hometown, Cape Girardeau, and saw several family members, including a drive to my grandparents’ house, where we had my great nephews first birthday party, at a nearby park.

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It’s funny, for years I thought I’d never enjoy returning to my hometown. I couldn’t wait to leave, but now I’m seriously pondering my return. I suppose because I now have health issues, which have caused me to go on disability. Where I live now, I have no one. I mean I have my husband, but we have no other support here. All of my family is in the Cape area and, although it’s only two hours away, that is a big gap when you need some immediate support. Driving past my grandparents house reminds me of all of the wonderful times I had there. It seems so small and distant now. I suppose those memories will forever be in my heart, but seeing that house makes me both smile and tear up. If only we could rewind the clock a few years.

Finally, I have been in a sad place due to the death of my 15 1/2 year old baby, Tux. He was my kitty bear, literally, at nearly 20 lbs, he was my gentle giant, my big baby, and mommy’s boy. Back in the late 1999’s, I went in search for a black kitten. I wanted a black kitten to “grow up” with me and I knew that black cats were the hardest to adopt; I don’t have a clue why. But when I went in search for my black kitten, I found and fell in love with a ginger. He was absolutely perfect! He was sweet and licked me constantly! Woodrow will always be the sweetest cat I’ve ever known and I was lucky to be his mommy. About two months after Woody came into my life, I heard a cry at my door. It was early, 2am early. It was raining and I could just barely hear the faint cry of a cat. When I opened my door, there was Tux. He was just a little boy. Both Woody and I fell in love immediately. I guess I needed to have two cats in my life and I now understand why. Tux lived a very long and happy life, until we got Chase. He and Chase never got along and I spent the last 6 years keeping them apart; which became a full time job. Tux had a few health scares, but overall, he lived a long and fairly healthy life, albeit, a large life! He never missed a treat! I had to be careful to not say words that sounded like treat, because he would stare at me, just waiting for me to get up. He would often just stare at me, waiting to see if he could hypnotize me into getting him a treat. Tux was my gentle giant, and I miss him very much. I hope there is an afterlife and I certainly hope my two big boys, Woodrow and Tux, are together. I miss you boys!

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